


Odd Job

by purple_umbrella



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 13:03:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18366575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purple_umbrella/pseuds/purple_umbrella
Summary: When a diplomat with unique taste brings the Shinsengumi to enlist the help of Kagura, she just has to spend one evening playing nice.  Simple, right? Not with a mocking pair of red eyes watching her every move from across the cabaret club.





	Odd Job

Shinpachi was making tea when she got home. On the overstuffed sofa sat Gin, his dead fish eyes unfocused, his index finger in his nose before he removed the digit and flicked a booger across the room.

Those were both fairly regular sights to come home to. What made Kagura pause was the three Shinsengumi officers standing in front of the television set. She opened her mouth to question their being there, but when he spotted her, Kondou’s features softened and something akin to a smile tugged at his lips and all the words she had evaporated from her brain.   
  
“Ah, Kagura. Just the woman we were waiting for.”   
  
Her mouth hung open for a moment longer before she finally managed to find words. Well, a single word. “Me?” she asked, at the same moment Gin snickered, “Heh. Woman.”   
  
She ignored him.   
  
“Yes,” Hijikata replied. His eyes were sharp, none of Kondou’s forced kindness seeping into his words or expression. “We have a favor to ask of you.”   
  
“Ah.” Kagura swapped her gaze from the trio of Shinsengumi to Gin to back again. And then she dropped onto the sofa beside her surrogate father and lifted both of her brows so they disappeared behind vermillion fringe. Gin and Kagura wore twin gazes on confusion, but it was Gin who said, “Go for it.”   
  
Kondou cleared his throat. “We have a work proposal for Odd Jobs. Well, a proposal for Kagura, more specifically. There is a diplomat coming to visit Edo in three nights, and we’ve been informed of his… particular tastes.”   
  
“ _ Particular _ ?” Gin asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees all the while frowning at the men still blocking his television.   
  
“...yes.”   
  


“He’s a very influential man. The kind the we’re hoping to smooth our relationship with to pave a future with. He will be here in three nights and will be meeting with the shogun at Snack Smile for a… conversation.”   
  
“Why are you here again?” Gin asked.   
  
Kondou opened his mouth to continue, but Hijikata cut him off.   
  
“This diplomat has a thing for yato women.”   


Gin grinned, showing lots of teeth. “Well, there aren’t any yato women here.”   


“We would like to pay Odd Jobs to have Kagura present at Snack Smile the evening of the meeting, posing as an employee.”   
  
Kagura frowned, absorbing the strange request, suddenly realizing that the “peculiar” taste the diplomat had was, apparently, for her kind. Not that she really knew what that meant, if she were being honest. Because she was strong? Had vermillion hair? Many people didn’t realize she was a foreigner at all… Being sought out for those reasons made her squirm.   
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by Gin’s bark of laughter. In the kitchen, a container of teabags had unpinned themselves and were splattered across the floor.   
  
Kondou frowned. “Isn’t she 18 now?”  
  
“Possibly.” Gin stopped laughing long enough to talk, and then started laughing again. “But that doesn’t means she’s capable of even pretending to be a woman for five seconds, not to mention schmoozing foreign diplomats.”  
  
Hijikata turned to Kagura and handed her a scrap of paper. “Here’s the pay.” She tried to be nonchalant as she glanced at the number, but her eyes widened in surprise.   
  
“Yeah. I’ll do it.”   
  
“Gin already turned down the job,” Shinpachi called from the kitchen, tea in hand.  
  
“Well, I don’t need him. I’ll accept on my own terms, and then he doesn’t get a cut.”  
  
“Fine! You can take it,” Gin grumbled. And while Kagura grinned with equal parts pleasure and pride, he added, “But don’t come blaming me when she acts like… Well, herself.”   
  


  
……..

  
  


“This is like princess lessons,” Kagura laughed merrily, settling into one of the plush booths at Snack Smile. She wondered if she could request something to drink. Maybe a strawberry milk tea, or...    
  
She could feel her cheeks flushing as her audience closed in on her. Otae and her employees gathered round--some to assist, others to watch her fail. Gin with his perpetual jaded stare and Shinpachi looking as nervous as ever.   
  
And then… Kagura’s brows slanted low over her eyes… And then there was the group of Shinsengumi officers present under the guise of helping her.   
  
“Oh, because you men spend so much time here you could probably be cabaret hostesses yourself, yes?”   
  
Hijikata exhaled a puff of smoke, looking entirely unimpressed. “Kondou, I really don’t think this is going to work.”   
  
“It’ll be fine.” And though he addressed the Vice-Commander, Kondou’s eyes never strayed from Otae.   
  
Kagura sunk lower in the booth, realizing that princess lessons weren’t going to include the possibility of strawberry milk tea. It wasn’t fair, really. She was going to be doing all the work and everyone was going to be watching her. Waiting for her to screw up.   
  
One of the courtesans dropped into the booth at her side, and Kagura could barely look at the girl she was so striking. Her hair was immaculate, all gathered into a ponytail on the side of her head in an elegant twist, and her makeup was pretty--light, natural looking in a way that made her skin glow. Every time the girl shifted to get a better look at Kagura, she caught a whiff of the floral scent of perfume. It was light and intriguing, and without even realizing it at first, Kagura found herself shifting closer to the girl just to smell her.   
  
And then Kagura blinked her big, blue eyes and scooted away.   
  
“Yes, I’ll have no trouble making this one shine,” the girl said, flashing both rows of intimidatingly white teeth. “You’re  _ super _ pretty!”   
  
There was a snort from somewhere, and Kagura cut her glare away from the courtesan to the peanut gallery. Her money was on Gin. Or possibly Shinpachi. Or…   
  
She met  _ his _ red eyes through the crowd and, before she could remind herself that she was proving to all these idiots that it wasn’t particularly hard work to pretend to be a lady for a couple minutes, she stuck her tongue out at the First Division Captain and watched the humor blossom across his stupidly Bishounen features.

“It won’t be a problem to get Kagura to  _ look _ the part,” Otae said, her voice cutting through the open room with its usual confidence. “It’s her acting that I’m worried about.”

“I can totally be a lady,” Kagura said, her voice going shrill. “Just act nice, yes?”   
  
“...Yes,” Otae said, dropping onto the opposite side of the bench and staring across at the yato girl. For a moment, she chewed on her lower lip, lost in thought. “Let’s give it a try, then. We just need a customer…”   
  
Sharp, honey-brown eyes roamed across the sea of faces before landing on Okita Sougo. Given Kagura’s usual disposition around the captain, a sinister smile tugged at Otae’s lips. “You then. Come, sit.”   
  
A few confident strides across the room, and Okita stood before the table. Kagura visibly stilled, and Otae shooed her girls away so that he could sit.   
  
“Good evening, Captain,” Kagura said, her eyes wide and her smile pretty.   
  
While an audible gasp cut through the crowd at the ladylike shift in Kagura’s demeanor, Okita smirked. He’d spent enough time watching Kagura, learning how she thought and acted well enough to know when she was faking something. He’d always been the first to know when she was being deceitful, the first to see through her lies (whether they be playing dead or pretending to be her own daughter) and no amount of acting on her part could ever undo him.   
  
Or so he thought.   
  
“Can I pour you some hot  saké, Captain?”   
  
He nodded, once. And even though he knew he was pathetic for not reminding himself that this was still Kagura, who not only possessed the strength to break his femur but also had the inclination to do so, should he cross her.   
  
And, unfortunately, crossing her just so happened to be his favorite thing to do.   
  
A flush reddened the skin of her cheeks. It was a pretty blush, and quite possibly the real deal. She was probably flushing in anger at having to serve him rather than embarrassment. But, still… Being served at Snack Smile by China wasn’t an experience he’d ever allowed himself to dream of, and he was going to enjoy it.   
  
Kagura lifted the bottle in a small, deceptively delicate hand and poured some into his cup before pouring some for herself. He took note of her fluid movements--clearly she’d studied up. As she lifted the cup to her lips, her quiet voice asked,   
  
“And how was your day, Captain?”   
  
_ Captain _ . Not idiot. Not arsehat. Not Super Sadist Now-Die-Die-Die.   
  
Okita leaned against the back of the booth and ignored the eyes glued to his every move. He moved his arm across the back of the bench so that it rested behind Kagura’s head, and he smiled fondly at the way it made her entire body stiffen.   
  
But she carried on, making small talk and smiling like she was a courtesan and he was drawn to her company. Drawn to her pink mouth, the way she bit down on her lip as she watched him behind dark lashes. The way…   
  
“Oh!” she exclaimed as the bottle of hot saké flew from her hands and landed in his lap. “I am just so clumsy,” she said through grit teeth, already abandoning the ruse. Around him, Snack Smile employees and his fellow officers and even danna groaned.   
  
“I really am such an incompetent woman.” Kagura heaved a dramatic sigh. “Here Captain, allow me…”   
  
Then she started dabbing at his drenched pants. Later, when he’d go to stand, it’d appear that he wet himself. Okita’s eyes flashed murder, but when she got to his crotch the light dabs of napkin turned to a precisely-placed punch and he barely had time to catch her wrist before she removed the possibility that he ever procreate.   
  
“Careful, China-girl.”   
  
She was close to him--half bent over his lap, her eyes blinking with false confusion, her pink lips opened to a delicious little ‘o’ of surprise.  
  
“Tisk, tisk. And here I thought you were taking this job seriously. I knew you were incapable of being a woman for more than a handful of seconds.”   
  
Kagura straightened, yanking her wrist free. There was an evil glint in her eyes, and Okita--sadist that he was--felt his heartbeat quicken against his ribs.   
  
“It’s a good thing I’m not actually having to pay for you company,” he whispered. “Or I’d request a refund.”  
  
She harrumphed and smashed her foot into his ankle under the table. “If I were a real courtesan and you were paying for my company for an evening, I’d poison your  saké .”  
  
“If you were my date for the evening, I’d drink it.”   
  
A scream tore from her throat and her arms flailed wildly about before clutching onto his throat. As the pissed yato cursed and attempted to choke him to death, Okita chuckled.  
  
Otae sighed. “I don’t know…”   
  
Hijikata lit a cigarette to tear his attention from the scene unfolding at the booth. “I told you this wouldn’t work.”   
  
It was only Kondou who clung to his optimism. “No. it’s fine. This’ll still work.”   
  
This  _ had  _ to work. He’d promised a yato girl’s presence, and he’d deliver… Even if the yato girl killed one of his captains first.   
  
“Let’s try it with someone else.  Bokosuke, you’re up. Have a seat.”   


Okita grumbled and got to his feet, pushing away from the panting Kagura and allowing the Eighth Division Captain to take a seat. His spine straight and expression serious, Bokosuke greeted the yato girl with a stiff nod and a quick, “Good evening.”   
  
Kagura cleared her throat. Her pretty blush was back, her eyes round, her lips smiling. She poured  saké like a courtesan and laughed at all his dumb jokes. Sougo watched her perform and knew she would be fine when it came time to waiting on the disgusting diplomat who had a fetish for strong women. Strong women like her. His hand came to rest on the hilt of his sword, pinky twitching with impatience as Kagura laughed behind her hand.   
  
He shouldn’t have been surprised by the unpleasant feeling that burned low in his gut as Kagura smiled prettily and twined her arm into the crook of Bokosuke’s elbow.   
  
Otae clapped happily, Kondou beamed, and even Gin looked surprised at her performance.   
  
“Wow, Kagura! That was spectacular,” Shinpachi laughed.   
  
One of the courtesans wrapped the slim yato into a bone-shattering hug. “You did great!” she said into her hair. “Like a real lady!”   
  
Bokosuke stood to his full height and rejoined the semi-circle of officers, expression blank of any obvious emotion, and Sougo fought the urge to punch him. Was he… jealous? No, he shook his head. It was just the warm evening and hot saké. Nothing more complicated than that.   
  
Two nights later, Sougo found himself back at Snack Smile on business. At a table with a splattering of Edo’s highest officials and a half dozen foreign diplomats, Sougo found his attention drawn not to the coming and going of pretty courtesans carrying trays of saké or Otae’s dazzling charm, but to the man shifting with impatient, waiting for Kagura to make her appearance.   
  
The door at his left cracked open, and Kagura’s voice flitted through the chatter, “Are they out there?”   
  
“Mm,” he grunted back through the crack in the door. When she didn’t say anything else, he asked, “Do you want me to come in?”   
  
The door opened and he slipped inside the dressing room. Years and years of being an ass schooled him into keep his expression in check, but it was difficult to keep the surprise from cracking his facade of indifference.   
  
Kagura was… Well, she was always beautiful. That wasn’t a surprise. But now she was…   
  
“I look stupid, yes?”   
  
She looked lots of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. He opened his mouth and then shut it before he was the one looking stupid.   
  
“They dolled me up but I still just look like me,” she whispered. “I don’t look like one of Anego’s girls. I just looks like Kagura.”   
  
Staring at herself in one of the mirrors, she frowned. Her lips were painted and mascara heavied her lashes, making blinking a chore. Her body was delicately draped in pink sink, but the props weren’t enough to hide herself and she swallowed the lump of insecurity like a stone.   
  
Okita tipped his head and looked at her reflection. “You were chosen for this job because you look like Kagura. A yato girl.”   
  
“Why’s he into yato girls, anyway? ‘Cause he’s a pervert?”   
  
Okita smirked. “Probably.”   
  
“Mm. I heard some guys like being choked while having sex and stuff. I bet he’s one of those.”   
  
“A masochist?” Okita asked, his brow lifting in question.   
  
She glared at him in the mirror. “Better than being a stupid sadist, yes?”   
  
He didn’t say anything, just watched her until her hard exterior cracked and a vulnerable expression betrayed her features.   
  
“What if I screw up?”   
  
“They’re making the business deal. You’re just pretending to be one of Otae’s girls. The fate of Edo isn’t riding on your shoulders so don’t act like it is.”   
  
She bit her lower lip, gathering up courage. She’d managed it fine during practice, this wouldn’t be more complicated than it had to be. And it wasn’t like she was alone… Shrugging back her shoulders, Kagura reached for the door but paused when a warm hand landed atop hers.   
  
Her blue eyes lifted to meet his red ones, a single brow arching high.   
  
“China. You don’t have to do this.”   
  
One corner of her lips flexed to a smile. “I know.”   
  
“You’re shaking.”   
  
Her gaze lowered to where his large hand covered hers.   
  
“Can I get your opinion on something?” she heard herself asking before she’d formed a full thought.   
  
“Anything.”   
  
She smiled. “ Which kind of date do you think is better? Should I smile and pretend to be a brainless doll all evening, laughing and agreeing with everything he says, or should I remain mute and nod demurely?”  
  
“Definitely the second one. Where you don’t talk.”  
  
She stuck out her tongue and swatted his hand away, and she could feel his eyes on her as she yanked the door open and faced the loud chatter and bright lights of Snack Smile.   
  
“I wouldn’t really poison myself if we were on a date, you know.”  
  
Kagura laughed, her hand tightening on the door’s latch. “I wouldn’t actually poison you.”  
  
“Now that I don’t believe for a second.” His breath was warm on her ear, his chest nearly flush against her back and Kagura found breathing difficult, suddenly cemented to the floor. There was a small chuckle and then Okita straightened to his full height, reached forward and slid the door open the remainder of the way.   
  
He walked past her, cutting a straight path to stand guard with the small group of Shinsengumi nearby.  
  
When he’d taken his position, Sougo watched Kagura approach the table of diplomats--scum, the lot of them. He tapped down on the overwhelming urge to grab her and not let go.  
  
But she was old enough to think for herself, strong enough to protect herself. She wasn’t the princess and she didn’t require a guard.

Kagura sat at the table, smiling shyly and offering hot  saké. She fell into an easy rhythm of laughing at dumb jokes and blinking through boring conversations--smalltalk peppered with trade agreements.

Kagura let her mind drift to all the food she’d be able to buy with her next paycheck. All the hot pot dinners, all the takoyaki she could eat, all the  sukonbu her heart desired… She blinked, stopping herself from overfilling a small cup.

How Anego dealt with idiots like this day in and day out was mystery, but it was good money, and maybe smiling and pouring drinks wasn’t so bad. There was an easy rhythm to slip into, a sort of--   
  
Kagura froze when a hand cupped her knee--a rough thumb brushing the underside of her thigh. She couldn’t help but squirm, but she wouldn’t give in to the urge to beat the man into the table, so she counted it as a success.   
  
When she fumbled with the next pour, she could feel  the pair of mocking red eyes from across the room. Lifting her gaze she met his smile with a glare. The Shinsengumi were close-by guarding the diplomats, but it felt a bit like Okita was guarding her.  
  
And as the evening winded down, she congratulated herself on not spilling anything or making an idiot of herself. Otae came by, beautiful and witty and carrying the conversation when it dragged, turning the mood around when things got tense. As usual, Kagura found herself in awe of how effortlessly Otae moulded the evening to her whim. After what felt like a small eternity, there was a handshake deal and some of the businessman stood to leave.   
  
The diplomat at her left smelled strongly of alcohol, his breath hot on her ear as he asked her if she’d like to join him.   
  
Her smile polite and eyes what she hoped pass for flirtatious, Kagura replied, “This is where we part ways. But it was a lovely evening. Thank you.”   
  
The diplomat tipped her and Kagura nearly danced as he tucked a lock of vermillion hair lightly behind the shell of her ear, telling her that it was a shame. But he looked happy as he watched her go, and she nearly leapt into Kondou’s arms as he shot her a thumbs-up from across the room.   
  
The Shinsengumi scattered as they went about escorting the diplomats home, but Okita lingered at the door, pushing off the wall as Kagura approached.   
  
She’d changed out of the pretty pink silk, back to sporting a pair of comfortable linen pants and an oversized powder blue sweatshirt.   
  
When they were outside, she grinned at him. “I did okay, yes?”   
  
“I don’t know. I wasn’t paying any attention to you,” he replied, even though they both know he’s lying.  
  
The streetlights of the Kabuki District cast yellow light onto the crowded streets below, and the pair popped in and out of the discs of light, silent except for Okita’s boots echoing on the pavement. Kagura placed both of her hands behind her head and sighed.   
  
“I could get used to this. I made a  _ killing  _ tonight.”   
  
Sougo smirked, imagining Kagura giving up Odd Jobs to be a cabaret girl. “Was it… fun?”   
  
She stopped, her eyes wide. “No! It was awful. I’ve been sitting still, smiling, not speaking my mind or punching anyone all evening! It was hell.”   
  
His smirk was highlighted by the moonlight. His fists itching for a fight. “Then let’s fix that.”   
  
“Yeah,” Kagura replied as Okita pushed off the balls of his feet and charged toward her--sword already half unsheathed and red eyes smiling in the dark. “Let’s.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s just pretend that Kagura is 18 in everything I ever write. Also, I’m not super happy with this fic, but it’s been sitting untouched in a word document for too long and I figure *shrug* might as well let it glimpse at the light of day.
> 
> I love these two idiots so much.


End file.
